Won't Settle

So I’ve been contemplating writing this blog post for a while, since in a way it is kind of personal but at the same time I’m like if I’m going through this there has to be plenty of other people who feel the same way…so I’ve decided to just go ahead and write about it. What is it? Is probably what you’re asking right now lol, well hold on I’ll get to that in a second, first I wanna clarify the back story on the catalyst of what made me decide to write about this topic.

            I swear I get asked this all the time do I have a boyfriend, to which I respond no I don’t and then I get one of two responses either the person doesn’t believe me and thinks I have some hidden boyfriend (pssh I wish Romeo you know that’s all you;) [Santos for all people who don’t know the Romeo I’m referring to lol] or they’re like but why not?

            My response to the first response is quite frankly despite the fact that I am a private person (I like my private life to remain private) if I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t keep him a secret, there’s really no need for that and ultimately that secrecy can tear apart a relationship. I’m not a person that would be blowing up anyone’s Instagram feeds with pictures of my boyfriend and I, but my friends and family would definitely know who he was, and publically people would know I was taken, but according to my Facebook status I’m currently single so obviously I have no secret boyfriend.

            My response to that second response gets a little more complicated. The reason that I don’t have a boyfriend is not because I don’t want one, I mean I’m not actively seeking a relationship, but should I meet the right person I wouldn’t be opposed to dating, the only problem is the guys of this generation. Honestly, I’ve met some pretty good guys, but the majority of them were either already taken or weren’t interested in girls which sucked…and the rest of the guys I’ve met just were not interested in something serious. I’m not the type of girl that is looking for just another hookup or to “chill” (honestly what even is this whole thing with chilling, like I’m not your bro). And I don’t want a guy who has been with half of the Philadelphia Metropolitan Area (being with thatttt many people is kind of a huge turn off).

            Honestly what I want is a man, not a boy thinking he’s a man, to ask me out on a DATE (again chill is for bro’s) and not to want a relationship per say, but who wants to get to know the actual me, not just the physical me or the me that he thinks I am. I want a man who is going to call instead of text me and who is going to understand that I am a full time student working two jobs, so I don’t have much time, and who instead of being turned off by that is going to stand by me and support me through it all. A person who wants me to succeed and pushes me to be a better version of myself….is that too much to ask for? Cause to be honest I refuse to settle for anything less than that.

Naps, A Journey, and an Apology

So first I want to start off by saying how sorry I am for neglecting my blog for so long (almost two months like whaa), honestly I have no excuse but to say that I’ve been crazy busy…but the fact of the matter is I can’t even use that as an excuse. To be honest I just didn’t have much to write about my life has and still consists of work and classes but still I have missed writing. Sooo with that being said I am back and will try to write at least once a week from now on (forgive me if I don’t occasionally lol I’m only a person).

            I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and assessing my life so far (I guess since my birthday’s coming up I got all nostalgic and what not lol!) and I realized just how much I miss being a kid and the lack of responsibility. Like now the first thing people ask me when they see me is so what’s your major? Or what do you want to be? And I’m just here like ummmmm idk lol a lawyer? I study communication? Like I miss the days when the first thing people would ask me would be how old are you? What do you like to do? What’s your favorite subject in school? All I wanna know is when did that stop? I get that people aren’t worried about how old I am but to be completely honest I’m still not sure where I’m headed in life (mom if you’re reading this I still wanna be a lawyer lol! Your tuition money is not going to waste!) But like seriously I miss not worrying about health insurance and what majors will help me get a job or having to pay off student loans after school, the stress of worrying is overwhelming!

            Above all I miss SLEEP. Honestly I can’t tell you the last time that I got 6 consecutive hours of sleep (thank God for Dunkin & Starbucks) I legitimately only function because of coffee. And this isn’t a rant I am thankful that I was able to grow and come into the independent woman I am today but like I now realize how easy I had it before and how ungrateful I was. When I was 11 I wanted to be 13, when I was 13 I wanted to be 16 because I didn’t realize how easy life was then (now I’m 20 and want to be 6 again lol!) And I heard it all before, to stop wishing I was older and cherish each year before responsibilities (but of course I didn’t listen) but I have come to reminisce about all the time I had before and I miss it. I miss being dependent, not having to do things for myself and not just sleeping at night but having naptime too!

            At the end of the day I am so proud of how far I’ve come through all of my accomplishments and tribulations and I love the independent woman that I am and if I had the chance I would not change one step of the journey that brought me to this point. But I would definitely take a few more naps along the way…you know for good measure ;).

Money Saving Tips

So I don’t know whether it’s the realization of all (And I mean ALL) the loans I’ve taken out for school or the knowledge of the fact that I am going to have to pay them back at some point, but recently I’ve gotten really into money, more specifically every single possible way to save money. I’m not sure exactly when it happened but not only have I realized how much money I’ve been wasting, but that there are a multitude of ways that I could have been saving money all along. So I’ve compiled a list (mainly for college students but could apply to all) of easy ways to save some money and work yourself out of college debt and loans.

1.     AVOID TAKING OUT PRIVATE LOANS. Yes it is in all caps for a reason. DON’T DO IT. Seriously. Yeah I know that college is expensive and at some point you might need to take out a loan but don’t take out a private loans, you’ll be in debt till you’re in your gave (okay that might be a slight exaggeration, but still avoid it at all costs.) If you do have to take out loans to help pay for school, like I did, stick to the subsidized and unsubsidized loans, preferably just the subsidized loan since the Federal government pays the interest on this loan vs. the unsubsidized loan in which the borrower remains responsible for the interest as well as the value of the loan.

2.     Start Building Your Credit ASAP. Because eventually you may want to buy a house or car. Along with this point also make sure that you take care of your credit, don’t let unpaid bills or late loan payments ruin that credit score, it’s not easy to get back out of debt once you’re in it, so avoid taking on more than you can handle; loans, credit cards etc.

a.     Credit Cards: personally I was against getting a credit card for a long while since I figured that it was unnecessary and would most likely result in me heading into debt, recently I caved and got two credit cards and honestly it has made me all the more responsible. However, I don’t think that all college students should get a credit card, but if you’re responsible go head and get one! Ways to avoid getting in to deep with a card, don’t buy unless you have the money in your account or pocket at the time of purchase. If I know that I can’t repay the money I’m using then and there don’t get it. Remember the key is shop within your means.

                                                        i.     If you don’t know your credit score Transunion, Equifax, and Experian all offer one free credit score a year and if you have a Discover card they send a FICO credit score with your monthly statement.

3.     CD’s! Or certificates of deposit are a certified way to not only keep your money secure but also earn some interest! Personally I love CD’s because of the fact that you don’t have to report them on FASFA since the money is frozen for the time interval you choose, and only become liquid once they mature, unless of course you choose to renew them. CD’s are pretty much offered at any bank, and each has it’s own minimum requirement for an amount to open the CD and time for maturation.

                                                        i.     Side note: CD’s make a great savings plan since if you withdraw money from the CD before the date of maturity most banks will fine you.

                                                      ii.     Added benefit most CD’s have IRA’s included (individual retirement accounts) a little extra on top of the interest you’ll get.

4.     Check that the bank you have is actually working for you. Honestly I have been with PNC since I was 13 and after working for a bank for four months I decided to research other banks to see if there was a better bank for me and wanna know what I found? Not one but TWO banks that were willing to provide me with better benefits than PNC does and were willing to work with what I wanted out of a bank. So hasta la vista PNC, and no it’s not me it’s you.

                                                        i.     Some banks actually offer accounts called Club Accounts that you can open for $1 and give you .25% interest on the money that you put in, great for saving up for a vacation, some holiday spending money, or just emergency money that could come in handy.

5.     Excel. So I’m a seriously OCD person, and so one day I made an Excel spread sheet with all the bank accounts that I had and my rainy day funds and calculated the total amount of money that I had so I could actually physically see it, and I’ve updated the spread sheet every week since. This way I can actually see where my money is going and my spend habits, when I notice my spending is getting out of control I know exactly where I can cut my spending and focusing on saving.

6.     Instantly cut your paycheck in half. (Or as much as you can put in to savings) As soon as I get paid I take money from my check and transfer parts of it into all the different accounts I have so that I’m not tempted to spend my entire check and be left with no money saved.   

                                                        i.     Spend within your means. You know how much you make and whether you can really afford that new iPhone, so don’t try to live beyond your means, it’s honestly the quickest way to get yourself into debt; and as I mentioned before it’s super easy to get into debt and almost impossible to work your way out of it.

It’s sad to say but money sorta controls almost every part of our lives, whether you wanna admit it or not you can’t live without money; so make sure that you’re at least thinking about how to cut costs or investing in some type of savings bond or retirement fund; better early and prepared than sorry later on!

To My Future Self

            So I was reading one of those recommended articles that pop up on my Facebook timeline and it was basically a list of things that everyone should do before they have kids. Now for any of you who really know me, you know that I have no intention of having kids, but the article did really interest me and so I read on and actually got a few good ideas of things I wanna do before I get older. Some of the suggestions were the generic go to a music festival, travel the world etc. etc. but one suggestion did catch my eye, it was all about how you should write a letter to your future self, kind of like a where you are now and where you see yourself in the future and to read it back later on in life.

            Now personally writing a letter to myself is kind of awkward like it almost feels like I’d be talking to myself but worse cause it would be like a legit conversation, so I’d be answering myself back anddd that just seems kinda crazy to me, but I feel like I’ve gotta try it. But then I thought I’ll probably forget to read it in the future so instead of just writing the letter, sealing it in an envelope, and tossing it to the side hopefully somewhere it won’t get lost and I can eventually find it, I figured that I’d just incorporate it into my blog so that at least I could revisit it at some point. So without further ado he’s my letter to my future self (no judgments lol it’s the first letter I ever wrote myself and I’m not quite sure how it’s going to turn out!)

            Dear Future Ashley,

                                    I don’t know when you’ll actually remember to read this letter, hopefully it’s not before you’re at least thirty-five and have figured out what your definition of the meaning of your life is supposed to be (or at least have a clue!) Writing this now at twenty it’s surreal how the best years of your life are supposed to be ahead of you yet it’s beyond terrifying that you’re embarking on the real world. Did it go ok? At this point in life I’m not sure where I’ll end up in a few years, whether I followed through with my plan to move out of Philly or if I ended up staying but regardless of where I ended up I hope that I did my twenties right and went out with a bang. I hope that whenever I do end up reading this I’ve made a bunch of mistakes, that I have hoped I could go back in time and change some choices that I’ve made, I hope that I’ve loved my friends and family with all the love I had, I hope that I’ve become the woman I know in my heart I’m on the track to finish becoming. I hope that I’ve gotten to travel the world (or at least a part of it), and pray that every new opportunity that has presented itself to me throughout my life, especially the ones that have forced me out of my comfort zone I’ve taken whether or not I enjoyed it. Above all I hope that every obstacle that I’ve been faced with throughout the years, I’ve overcome and hope that they’ve brought me closer to the people I love, taught me a lesson, and most importantly shaped me into the best version of myself that I could ever hope to be. Honestly, at this point in my life I’m not sure where I’m going or what I’m going to be, but I do hope that when I read this I can look back at these next few years and smile knowing that I’ve gained love, respect for myself and from others around me, a confidence of knowing that I may have messed up many times in life but that’s only made me better, and the assurance that despite being independent and knowing I can do it all on my own, I don’t have to because I have such an amazing support system by my side. I may not know what’ll happen in the future but somehow I just know I’ll be okay and make you, my future self, proud.

Sincerely,

Current Ashley  

The Good Old Days

            I can honestly say I miss the days when I had no phone, shared a main computer with everyone in my house, and I saw my friends face-to-face everyday outside when we’d play jump rope or ride our bikes; constantly moving. I feel such a loss for this generation because they’re growing up in an age of technology, which don’t get me wrong is great, but at the same time they’re lacking the meaningful face-to-face interaction and joy of spending the day outside with a group of their friends. That feeling of being in the now, not focusing on what’s happening in the “digital realm” but on what’s physically happening, making that count more than the likes you get on a picture.

       Long gone are the days where you would break out a pen or pencil and send a pen pal a long heart felt letter, heck half of the youth’s generation (wow that made me sound old lol!) can hardly write a sentence with proper grammar; it seems that all of the lol’s and text talk we’ve grown so accustomed to have caused us to lose our sense of punctuation, carelessly toss out the grammar rules we worked so hard to learn in middle school (yes I’m talking knowing the difference of when to use their vs. there vs. they’re). It’s a little disheartening for me to see the English language thrown around so freely in the way we speak and text today vs. how the eloquently it was used in the days of Shakespeare, when the words meant something, spoken so beautifully.

        Now don’t get me wrong, despite the fact that I write this blog, I am by no means the best writer (if you’ve noticed my sentences have a tendency to run on, oops!) But I feel like it’s just sad that with the shift towards technology we’re losing the beauty of language, and the written word. Like personally although I see the benefits of kindles, and Ipads for reading (yes I get that it saves money, books are sold cheaper on there) for me there’s nothing like holding the physical book in my hands, folding down the pages where a quote has captured my attention, getting into the mind of the author; experiencing how they feel, their thoughts, ideas, and emotions that I will never get from reading it electronically.

         So maybe I’m an old soul haha, I mean yes I thoroughly enjoy having access to Instagram, being able to check my bank account, and yes I enjoy being able to order and pay for my food on my phone, thank God for GRUBHUB (it’s my favorite app haha) I feel a pang for this generation that they don’t get to enjoy the same simplicity I was blessed with growing up. Honestly I yearn for the days where I’d get to play outside all day and then come inside eat shower and head to bed (or in my case head under the covers with a flashlight to catch up on some reading, yes Harry Potter all day every day.) There’s such a beauty in simplicity that I think at times our generation is lacking, as well as a lack of articulation, that was once had that we should find our way back to. Maybe Siri can help us out with that (;