Always Remember

     So I know I've been in missing in action....again...but in my defense I was super sick and being that I've been working two jobs six days a week, wellll I think I deserve a little leeway lol, but I am back! And although I know that this post is gonna come off almost as seeming like a rant,I can assure you that it is in no way intended to be a rant (and yes that was my disclosure) but I feel like it is something that must be said. 

     As I mentioned before I did get pretty sick for a little over a week, and honestly me being like anyone else I had a pity party for myself, only thinking of how of course I would get sick a few days after my spring semester was over and I was finally about to start enjoying my summer, and how this would only happen to me. So I'd told a couple of my friends that I was sick, and what's funny is not too many of them actually cared that I was sick, or even asked how I was doing, instead they were too focused on their own issues to even bother making sure I was okay, and me being the friend I am asked them if they were ok and did my best to offer advice whenever I could. 

    Now the funny thing about giving advice to people is that for the most part people do not actually want your advice, instead they just want you to validate that what they are feeling is appropriate and to almost back them up and make them feel like they're right and whoever hurt them was wrong, even when you yourself know that that friend of yours was wrong. Now I'm not the kind of person that does this, I will tell my friends things straight up--no sugar coating because that's real life, things don't always work out the way that you want them to, and you've gotta learn to be okay with that. I feel like as a society we've become to fragile to the realistic truth, and we would rather be unhappy in a fantasy world then come to terms with what is really going on in our lives, we are too scared to face the truth. 

      For example,I feel like a couple of people I know would rather be in unhealthy relationships, where they are constantly being treated like crap, and they are completely unhappy because they feel like being unhappy is bearable because they have that significant other, they come to need and depend on that person so heavily that they forget that we are born alone, and we die alone, and yes although that thought is quite melancholy and tragic it is reality. And personally I am so tired of hearing so many complaints about unhappy relationships from the same people all of the freaking time. It's time for a reality check! If you're unhappy in a relationship more than half the time maybe it's time for you to take a break and focus on yourself. Stop being that needy person that has to have someone be independent, and learn to love and value yourself, and realize that no one is going to make you happy, if you can't even make yourself happy. 

        With that being said, I also really dislike the people that consistently complain about seeing other people in cute relationships all because they themselves are single....like I'm sorry but I didn't know that the earth revolved around you...oh wait jk IT DOESN'T since last time I checked you're not the sun, but just one person out of the 7 BILLION people in the world, so how about you stop being so self-centered and learn to accept the fact that you are single so stop hating on those relationships, LET THOSE COUPLES BE HAPPY. When it is meant to happen for you it will, but being miserable and cranky about others happiness only attracts negativity towards yourself so get the  fuck over it. I get that being single gets lonely sometimes but that is not justification for wishing your unhappiness upon someone else, that is not only immature but just hateful and reveals a lot about the kind of person you are, mainly how insecure and self-centered you are, which to be honest are two very unattractive traits to potential suitors (in case you didn't know). So get cho life together and stop being so damn self absorbed. 

         So okay I know that this basically came off as a rant but being completely honest I felt like this had to be shared, I've seen too many people being taken for granted in relationships, so unhealthy I feel like the only thing keeping them in that relationship is being too scared to be alone, and to me that is just sad. Being single myself, yeah I get that it sucks being single all the time, but because I am single I know from personal experience, it can be the best time of your life. Not being in a relationship gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself, to find out what you like and dislike, to go wherever the wind takes you, to have countless new experiences you never believed possible, and most importantly it gives you the chance to fall in love with yourself, something that being with another person can never do. You must learn to truly love and value yourself, with each and every one of your flaws before you can attempt to make someone else happy, because if you don't you can easily lose yourself in your relationship, and that would be a sad reality. Learn to respect yourself, and figure out what you stand for before getting serious with someone, and above all never let someone define you, you're worth so much more than you know. 

Some thoughts on college

          Alright so anyone that is friends with me on Facebook can't say they didn't see this post coming, yeah that's right this post is all about college and more importantly why I feel like college happens at the wrong time in students' lives. Now don't get me wrong I'm all about college, and I know the value of a college education is worth more than just about anything in this era and economy, but what I don't understand is who decided that the majority of students should go straight from high school to college after which they're going to "enter the real world."

            Now I don't know about other people but growing up I always knew exactly what I wanted to be... or thought I did, and for almost 19 years I stuck with it; I knew that I wanted to go to a school associated with an amazing medical school, major in biology, graduate medical school with high board exams, and become a psychiatrist, my plan was simple...until it wasn't. So okay I did get into a great school, with one of the best medical schools in the country, Temple, but when I started taking my major classes, my results (and gpa) was less than thrilling. So then I figured okay I'll change my major to something else to stand out and have a better chance at getting accepted into med school, I ended up choosing communications, and ironically I fell in love with the major.

           But don't get me wrong I was still determined to follow through with the plan, my goal was to go to med school, until about half way through the second semester of sophomore year. That's when I realized that going to my chem lecture and math class, made me plain upset, I wasn't interested and it just felt forced, it was a class I had to get through just to get into med school and that's not what I wanted, I wanted to feel the same passion I felt about my comm class in all of my classes, to not just go cause I had to but because I wanted to. So then I thought what else makes me happy? And I remembered taking a couple of law classes in previous semesters to fill my gen-ed requirements and I knew pre-law was where I needed to head.

          However, I've gotta admit I'm one of the lucky ones because I knew what made me happy and how I could take that passion and turn it into a successful career, but not everyone is that lucky. See I think the issue is that college is set for the worst time, most college students are 18 just starting their lives, finally get a dose of what freedom and being independent means....and that's the time where they're supposed to make the decision as to what they are going to be doing for the rest of their lives..? Do ya see the problem..? Like how can society expect students coming out of high school to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives by their sophomore year? Because if they take any longer they won't be able to graduate with their friends on time? IT'S JUST WRONG!

            For me college is a time to find yourself, and to really try to figure out what type of person you want to become. For that reason I envy people who can afford to defer college for a year to travel the world, or get some real world experience because I didn't have that luxury as most students don't but if you stop and think about it if all of us had that opportunity I think it would make heading to college and knowing what we wanna do FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES a lot easier than graduating high school going right to college and randomly choosing a career path just so that we can graduate college on time.

               So you might be thinking oh this is just one girl's opinion, and technically you're right because I'm the only one writing this and didn't go around asking other college students but from all of my friends who are in college I see repeating patterns amongst us. 99.9% of my friends who graduated high school at the same time as I did, and picked a major, by their sophomore year had changed their major at least once and the only couple that didn't are just now considering changing their major to something else. And why is that? Because college confuses the shit out of you! You start taking classes for gen-eds and hey maybe you find it so interesting you take more classes on it and bam now you wanna change your major! Or you love the major you're in but you know that you cannot doing anything with that degree so you need to pick something that's going to pay the bills and loans that you owe for being in college in the first place! So as if the stress of picking a major that you'll get a bachelors degree in isn't hard enough, there's also that fact that hey you will need to remember to choose a major that can provide a decent living, cause if not you'll be one of those people who has a degree in one thing but got a job in something completely different...like wha?! What was the point of having gone to college then?!

                    With that being said that's why I feel like college shouldn't come right after high school, there should be a gap, a time where high school students can get to know themselves and start to try and piece together how they want their lives to go. So okay, I admit that even with a little time, some people still may not know what they wanna do with their lives but at least this way that extra time gives students' a chance to expose themselves to different areas of work and study, better equipping them to figure out where they want to be headed than having students go into college as "undeclared" which just stresses them out more since half of their friends have chosen majors (which they may hate.) College should be the best years of your life, where you meet people from all over and discover who you are before the real world sinks in, and so it shouldn't seem daunting because you don't know what the heck to do with your life! It should be a time to explore the seemingly endless possibilities, with innumerable opportunities at your disposal, but it shouldn't happen right after high school, there should be a gap, so all students can get the full college experience minus the worries (well worries about anything but finals lol!)

Style: More Than Just An Image

Style: More Than Just An Image 

      So recently my mom brought to my attention how often I need some type of "change" in my life: whether it's what food I'm obsessed with eating, the way my room is set up, and most importantly (cause it's actually true) what clothes I'm wearing. Now in my defense I change foods so quickly because I have a habit of becoming obsessed with certain foods and they're ALL I eat, to the point that I start to hate it and never want to see it again...so you really can't blame me for that (I'll tell myself that to make myself feel better (;) and the room thing...well I don't really have an excuse for that I just get tired of seeing everything in my room in the same spot allll the time, in my mind moving things around just makes things better and fresher (since lets face it I'm a broke college student, until I finish school it's not like I can afford all new items to change up my room, moving things around is the closest change I can get lol) but my mom was right when she said the clothes I wear change, because my style really has changed DRASTICALLY within one single year. 

      I started giving it some thought and I think my style has changed so much because of all of the transitions I've been going through in my life this year, between having a job in a preppy store, starting to dress for interviews for jobs in my chosen profession, and basically because I'm finally starting to figure out who I am, my constant change of appearance is just a reflection of how I'm still a work in progress, slowly but surely coming into the successful woman I will be. 

    

     Despite my indecision style wise, my presentation is always on point. It never fails to amaze me when my mom gets all worked up about how I put on jeans and a nice shirt to go to the supermarket, or look overly presentable to walk the dog or run errands, because to me it's necessary. For exactly two reasons 

     1. The first reason I always look my best regardless of where I'm going is because you never know who you're going to meet wherever you go. Now before you start thinking oh Ashley is trying to look all good in case she meets a guy (it's so much more than that),  in this case I mean you never know where you're going to meet a potential employer, or encounter an opportunity to network; and do you really wanna blow that opportunity because you look like you just rolled out of bed except, oops instead of rolling out of bed to the bathroom to shower, you rolled down the street to what could of been the job of a lifetime that someone else got because they weren't in some leggings and UGG boots. (Nothing personal against either article of clothing but seriously they're too casual for their own good.)

     2.  The second reason I look my best no matter what is because there are no second impressions, all you have is that first impression and do you really want it to be you looking sloppy because you didn't wanna wake up a half hour earlier to make yourself presentable, and what does that say about you? Would you hire someone who looked sloppy in public? I think that our society as a whole has taken feeling comfortable to new extremes, you should feel comfortable in what you wear, but there's no reason that you can't feel comfortable in some jeans and flats once in a while! 

    3. The final reason I always look my best is because when you look your best you feel your best and you get your best work done. When you know you look good, you're more likely to not only deliver results but surpass your best work (at least for me.) Looking your best gives you that extra boost of confidence that will not only make you more productive, also feeling happier getting that work done. 

   Now I'm not saying we aren't all entitled to a bummy day occasionally but come on people let's leave the sweats and yoga pants at home or at the gym where they belong 99.9% of the time. What we wear says so much about us especially when we're out where most of the people we pass don't know us, and may not want to know us depending on how we're representing ourselves. How do we expect a stranger to know that we're a type A personality with a 4.0 gpa on the pre- law track when we're walking in public with our hair in a messy bun, sweat pants on, an oversized t-shirt and some worn out ugg boots on our feet. No you don't need to look like you've stepped off the runway all the time but take a little time in the morning, brush out that hair, put on some jeans, flats, and a shirt that fits and have a little fun with fashion; it's a great way to get show a little creativity!

Here are a couple of pictures of the many looks I've had throughout the year! I've started with my looks from the beginning of the 2013-2014 year and ended with my most recent looks. Hope you enjoy.